Welcome back to another Sunday Poser https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2022/01/23/sunday-poser-64/
This week my question is;
What are some of the things that people do that make you feel uncomfortable?
I think one of the biggest things is fight in public. I don’t mean fist fight, I mean full out arguing. Everyone is going to disagree in their lives but screaming back and forth is not something that is going to help. I especially dislike, almost hate, when parents yell at their kids to “be quiet” in a store. First of all, you are yelling which is not quiet and there are other ways to quiet kids down. Working with behavioral issues I have found that whispering to kids is one of the best ways to get them to lower their voices. They want to hear what grown-ups have to say and if they are screaming and you are whispering they have to stop to hear you. I also think that sometimes a grown-up just needs to listen one time to what the kid is saying and put an end to whatever is being yelled about. For example, I have heard kids screaming, crying, yelling, whatever, that they want something. The parent ignores the behavior thinking it will help it to stop. Well, the intensity is going to grow until the child feels like he/she is being heard and it is acknowledged. I think that is normal behavior. If they continue and it becomes a true behavior, do the old trick and walk out of the store without buying a thing; that almost always works!
Stine Writing 
Thanks for sharing. You’re right that this sort of behavior is really off putting.
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I cannot abide brats, but agree that yelling at them in public doesn’t solve anything!
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I’ve done the walk out with nothing thing…The parents I used to work with whose kids had behavior issues just felt like they had to give in to shut the kid up. We tried to stress how it only gets worse and worse.
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I worked with two women who seemed to reward their kids for bad behaviour and then wonder why they were demanding, selfish and bratty. I know of someone who left their son screaming on the floor in a tantrum in the middle of the aisle and walked outside to wait for him to panic. It worked, and the boy never did it again.
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I was lucky because my kids never had tantrums in the store. Since they were little if they wanted something they could do a job to earn it…then they got it. Nothing was free. And if it was something they really wanted bad then they worked hard the minute we got home! Sometimes we would negotiate a job but they both knew if the job didn’t get done then the item was returned, no exceptions. They were good like that. Right before my son passed away he had wanted to get a new car or bike or something. David laughed because Joey came to me and asked “would you like to loan me $5000?”. Never just assumed he would get a handout. I had told him no! Lol!
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One of ex partner’s sons was like that. He accepted that he’d have to work for something he really wanted and would do little jobs like washing the car etc to earn some extra money. he wanted some footballs boots that were beyond me but I told him if he could save half the money, I;d pay the rest. He got himself a paper round and those boots were his by the summer,
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When people gave me shit about Joey buying a motorcycle (that he had his accident on) I said there was nothing I could do. He was 18 and saved $8000 to pay for it in cash. He was a saver.
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Good for him Christine.
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Yes a quiet voice does work and when it doesn’t walk away if it is safe for the child.
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People will judge no matter what gets done. The point is the lesson it will send to the little one.
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Very true.
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