From my desk: 05/09/2021

It is a bittersweet day today. I am proud to say that I raised two beautiful children but I am heartbroken that one left this world before me. My beautiful daughter is doing so well and I am so proud of her. I miss my son so very much it hurts more than I could ever explain.

I lost my mom when I was 23. It seems so long ago. I remember thinking that my life was left with a big gaping hole in it. Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I hope you are still watching over me.

I put my house on the market and got an offer the first day. I am so happy that it happened quickly but also so scared to make such a big move. I have done so many updates and fixed things so nicely, why move? But, isn’t that what happens? I am sure that whoever moves in will feel the love within the walls. When the house sells I will get to be back full-time with David but also farther away from my daughter. No decisions are one sidedly easy. But with Lindsay succeeding at her work and being so young and a strong person, she will do fine whether I am a town over or many states away.

I have been inconsistently active on my blog. There is so much that has to get done in a day and I honestly feel like I am on the go 24-7. If you are feeling bored let me know what you do to have the down-time! Lol. I appreciate every person who continues to read my work and “chat” with me. I suppose there will come a day where I can start structuring my time again. My father is so needy that it is often hard to sit and write when he is continually asking me questions or in need of something. He will be 89 next month. Holy cow!

If you continue to participate in Simply 6-Minutes on Tuesdays then Thank you! If you don’t participate yet, check it out on Tuesday. It is fun and relaxing and puts such a smile on my face. Spread the word…It’s all for the fun of it.

Does anyone remember when “Baked Lays” first came out and they were wreaking havoc on peoples’ stomachs? Supposedly whatever they put in their food that makes it fat free also leads to a laxative effect. I learned not too long ago and was reminded the other day that “sugar free” candy also has the same effect on the bowel track. So…if you are feeling irregular try the sugar free hard candies they sell at the Dollar Tree.

That is enough rambling for everyone for one day.
Peace to you all!
Have a very Happy Monday!

©2021 CBialczak

12 Bloggerz! May 2021

Find it here: https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2021/05/06/12-bloggerz-may-2021/

12 Questions
When was the last time you were totally lost?
[Be this physically, mentally, emotionally or so on, interpretation is yours]
When was the last time I wasn’t? Starting with my husband passing in 2018 my life has not stopped this whirlwind of changes. I just want a place to physically settle, mentally relax, and be more emotionally stable.
Do you think that we as viewers to the entertainment industry have much higher and perhaps unrealistic expectations to the content that we read, watch or listen to today in comparison to previous years and or generations?

Literature/Film/Television/Music
I think a lot of people expect a lot! I don’t see what is wrong with the old shows. They were truly funny if they were supposed to be. They were truthful, maybe a little too truthful sometimes. TV shows and movies were good even though every aspect wasn’t perfectly realistic. Some of the techno stuff and stunts make movies now less believable in my opinion.
Does Money ‘Really’ make us happy or is that just a myth and more importantly it is ‘what you do with it’ that makes you happier?
I think that money has the potential to make your life easier. Once your life is easier you have more time and energy to focus on yourself and your happiness. I think what you do with it really only matters if you care to share it. I honestly don’t care about extravagant vacations, fancy cars, and other indulgences that even a typical “well off” person still could never afford in a lifetime.
How important to you is it to be right? I’m always right unless I am wrong. If I am right then just know that I am right and that I have done my homework to ensure I am right. If I am wrong, please point it out and let me know where I went wrong. That way the next time I will be right again.
How often do you find yourself completely confused with life and the way it is changing and has changed over the last ten or twenty years?
Never. It isn’t confusing it is just super f—-ed up!
When out shopping and carrying your goods or groceries which do you prefer to use more often – paper or plastic bags [reusable] or cotton totes or something else? It depends on what I plan on doing with the bags. When I have to pack things I like the plastic bags to pack things in. If I know I will have a lot of recyclables then I like paper so I can reuse it immediately. I do have an obsession with reusable bags and have been told I am no longer “allowed” to purchase bags because I have so many. I like them though but don’t reuse them as often as I should because I see new ones I like.
How many emails do you get a day [roughly] and from who do you get the most? Probably at least 75 emails a day. Most are from retail outlets since I do a lot of shopping online. I have a few different email addresses so each one gets different types.
Have you ever made for yourself ‘homemade wine/spirits’ and if so what was it made from and how was it? Only by accident when I have left fruit or juice in the fridge for too long. I do make Kombucha but it isn’t considered a spirit.
In your opinion and from no ‘fixed time period’, what have been in your eyes the top 5 most memorable television series you have ever watched and what made them special to you?
1. The Muppet Show: loved the puppets and I remember so many of the shows.
2. The Brady Bunch: It was unrealistic with all those kids but each of the kids was “normal” in some kid sort of way.
3. Blue Bloods: Just so good in all senses
4. America’s Next Top Model: I love seeing all of the transformations Tyra would impose on the would-be models.
5. The Love Boat: It was just the ultimate vacation and always love!
What’s wrong with today’s music as opposed to the music of your yesterday’s – do you consider the music now to be far worse or greatly improved and why?
I think both. Some music is so technical that it doesn’t seem like a human has even participated in it.
Does world history really matter to our daily lives – is it that important – l mean it’s not like we can change anything right – what do you think? Yes, and it shouldn’t be erased. That is how we learn not to do the same stupid things that have happened in the past. It is good to see what mistakes were made.
Do you believe that a good night’s sleep and waking up refreshed the following day helps you make better decisions or worthier improvements to your life – or it makes no difference at all? It totally makes a world of difference. I have recently been very tired and I am cranky and irritable. I don’t feel like doing much and I just want to eat….

©2021 CBialczak

Fandango’s Provocative Question #71

FPQ

Find the question here: https://fivedotoh.com/2020/05/27/fandangos-provocative-question-71/

How old are you* and how old do you feel — older or younger than your actual chronological age? Do you generally act your age? And what does “acting your age” mean to you?

I am 49 but feel like I just graduated from high school. I don’t feel old enough to have to make many of the decisions I have had to make in life. On the contrary, I am happy being home doing crafty stuff or reading. I can I am also a “repurposer” so I hate throwing things away that I might be able to use again some day.

©2021 CBialczak

Fandango’s Provocative Question #116

So, are you ready? Have fun, and I encourage you to elaborate on your answers and why you answered them the way you did.

I know it’s a little late but I love answering questions!

  1. Best sandwich? I have two: Bologna and American Cheese on Wonderbread with a tiny bit of mayo and Peanut Butter and Fluff on Wonderbread.
  2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out? I don’t know if I can cut it down to one thing…I save everything to “repurpose”.
  3. What is the scariest animal? A shark
  4. Apples or oranges? apples definitely!
  5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? The characters at Disney World…
  6. What do you think happens when we die? We go to a place where all the spirits live in peace
  7. Favorite action movie? Does Aladdin count?
  8. Favorite smell? buttered popcorn
  9. Least favorite smell? poop
  10. Exercise: worth it? Only if I feel and see results
  11. Flat or sparkling? sparkling of course!
  12. Most used app on your phone? Tri-Peak Solitaire or Bitmoji
  13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it? “It’s a great day to be alive” Travis Tritt https://youtu.be/2kwCc5uqJv4 This song has gotten me through some of my darkest days.
  14. What number am I thinking of? two
  15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words? Happy with hopefully less stress.

Find the questions here: https://fivedotoh.com/2021/05/05/fandangos-provocative-question-116/

©CBialczak 2021

The Wives: Book Review

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The Wives by Tarryn Fisher is a twisted mystery leaving you wondering if you, as the reader, or the characters are the ones who cannot keep the story straight! Who is Thursday and how is she intertwined with Monday and Tuesday, or is she Seth’s one and only true love?  

Thursday is the narrator and main character in this perplexing mystery. The author explains the situation very well from the beginning of the story so you can follow who is who, but their roles become muddied as Thursday becomes more curious about her Polygamist husband’s other wives. From the beginning, Thursday was always okay with the arrangement between her and Seth; he had other wives and she would keep her curiosity at bay, knowing she was the one “legal” wife, and the most loved. But as she digs deeper into Seth’s other relationships, she realizes she might not be the most important and she is starting to understand why. Will collaboration with the other wives help answer some of her questions? What will Seth do when he finds out she has contacted the other wives? 

I give this story 4 out of 5 stars for its intricate and intriguing plot. Throughout the story the reader is left rooting for each wife for varied reasons and the author sends you on a twisted journey. There are a few times later in the story that it is hard to differentiate between the real and the imagined and to know whether this perplexity is set up purposely by the author or just the reader being confused. In the end, this book is worth reading and I would read more from Tarryn Fisher.  

©2021 CBialczak Book Review

Book Blitz!: The 48 Laws of Happiness

During times like these finding ways to be happy seems like a no brainer! Check out The 48 Laws of Happiness by Dr. Rob Carpenter! Psst… There’s also a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card (International)

The 48 Laws of Happiness: Secrets Revealed for Becoming the Happiest You

Expected Publication Date: April 27th, 2021

Genre: Non-Fiction/ Self-Improvement

UNLOCK THE SECRETS TO HAPPINESS

  • Do you want to discover the untold secrets of happiness in a fun and uplifting read that could change your life?
  • Have you ever been told you should choose to be happy but then not taught how to be happy?
  • Is becoming the happiest possible version of yourself something you would like to achieve right now?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you have looked in the right place! In The 48 Laws of Happiness, Dr. Rob Carpenter will teach you how to be happier in every area of your life. Using practical, “how-to” approaches, easily digestible mini-chapters, cutting edge research, and inspirational stories of people from around the world, Dr. Rob will show you the secrets to happiness and what you can do to overcome the common traps preventing you from being the happiest and most confident, version of yourself.

Available on Amazon

About the Author

Dr. Rob Carpenter—known simply as Dr. Rob— miraculously survived a tragic accident and vowed to not only rebuild his life, but to help other people rebuild their lives too. He has become a transformational author, filmmaker, and CEO who now advises professional athletes, celebrities, business titans, and everyday people so they can become the best version of themselves.

Dr. Rob has been featured in the New York Times, Business Insider, and People Magazine, has been a former professor and filmmaker at the 2x Emmy Award Winning USC Media Institute for Social Change, and is host of The Dr. Rob show. He founded The School of Happiness and has countless resources available on his website DrRob.TV to help uplift humanity.

Dr. Rob is the first in his family to graduate from college.

Rob Carpenter

Twitter Tags: @KeriBarnum @RRBookTours1 #RRBookTours #NonFiction

International Giveaway: Click the link below for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card! (April 27 – 29)

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Calming Down

Many years ago when my son was having his most difficult times he began cutting. If you don’t know much about it here is a link: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/cutting-is-a-call-for-help/.
It is a horrible time for the individual as well as the people who love them.

While this was happening and I was seeking solutions, my therapist recommended this to me, as a method to use, especially with teens as it helps in multiple ways.
When people cut themselves they often leave scars. While the scars mar the skin, they are also a reminder of all the hurt and pain that was felt, hence the reason for cutting and getting the scars. This is a vicious cycle.
1. Purchase a good Vitamin E oil, or other oil that the individual likes both the smell and feel of.
2. Tell the individual that the oil is going to help calm the mind and help minimize scarring.
3. The individual is to put a small amount of oil on the scar, or scars, and rub them gently, massaging the oil into the skin.
4. This should be done at least three times a day but can be done EVERY time the individual is feeling stress or the need to cut.

What does this do?
By rubbing the skin, one is doing something called “self-soothing”. It relaxes the body by releasing serotonin and dopamine in the brain that send a positive message to the body. Read more here: https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-massage-affects-your-mood-334663052773.

Rubbing the oil also helps the skin heal to reduce scarring.

***************************************************************************************************

My experience:

When I talked to my son about this he was “okay” with it because it was something that he could do, independently, so as not to have to rely on anyone or face any embarrassment. It could be done anytime since it was a quick process if necessary.
He did this whenever he had the “desire” to cut. It worked. He told me that it did help reduce that stress and feeling to hurt himself.

I taught this technique to my students when I was working at a Clinical Day Program for high school kids with emotional disturbances. Most of these students were extremely volatile, self-injurious, physically aggressive, and angry. For one student in particular, “Jenny”, she used this technique after I gave her the oil and she stopped cutting. Other students in my class used the technique and just described it as a relaxing thing to do.

I would love your feedback or if you have additional information you would like to share, please do.

©2021 CBialczak
*Disclaimer: I am not a physician and do not guarantee that this is a good solution. This is primarily anecdotal with personal experience as evidence. Talk to your own doctor.

“Soapbox” Rant

This is solely my opinion and it is not intended to upset, insite, or interfere with anyone’s ideas, thoughts, wishes…On a whole – please don’t read this if you are going to get mad and write me back that I am all wrong – it is just what goes on in my head…..I do not, repeat do not, mean to offend anyone one.

In this day and age, 2021, we are introduced to so many technological breakthroughs, medical advances, and things most people over the age of 45 probably only thought were mind games years ago. I mean who watched the “Jetsons” and thought how cool it would be to have all those computerized gadgets then thought, “yeah, right, like this could ever really happen?”

So with all we have learned and been taught, how on earth can we still say that because people are a different color on the outside they should be any different than another color? I watch the news and it is all about color and treatment. Don’t we know by now that biologically humans are one species? There is no race that is better than another. If you have bad experiences you might have some “thoughts” about another race but give me a break. Are you really going to argue that because someone is a different color or looks different that they are less than you?

Now this is going to enter into some tricky realm because of phrasing and “socially appropriate”, blah, blah, blah…I get it. What I don’t get is why some people think that whites are the best. Haven’t we all heard the term “white trash”? And how can you say black people are lower than white people when some of the greatest people in our history have been black? You really want to tell me that Martin Luther King Jr. was not a great man? Him and Abraham Lincoln would have been best friends!!!!! I am not saying that it is only black versus white. There are other ethnic “issues” I have heard of like black versus hispanic, chinese vs central american, white vs white, black vs black….They are all the same.

I can’t even think about all of the different ethnic groups, colors, “kinds” of people around our world. Some don’t have the advances as the rest of the world does, so if they don’t understand the full biological difference than they get a pass on my rant, but the rest of the world? Shame on you all for thinking that color alone makes a human being different than another human being! ANY COLOR! It isn’t just black and white.

Okay, thank you for listening. I will put my soapbox away and store it, hoping I don’t feel the need to take it out again.

Phew, now I feel a little better!

Peace to you all!