As I Sit

As I sit here under bright lights with a man I used to know, at the age where death is okay, where modesty is nonexistent, where memories float away as quickly as the stars at dawn, where there is no longer an understanding of where we both should be…I think about my losses, too soon to be explained, too painful to recall, unnatural in God’s original plan, leaving a hole so deep, a void so wide, a darkness that will never see light…I wonder why I was chosen to exist here, why I was picked to be the one to hold on to the wrong hand, why a piece of me is left alone…As I sit here under bright lights the pain deepens, the sorrow floods in, and the unexplained only becomes more obscure…will there ever be an answer, an explanation, a truth to hold onto, knowing that life will continue beyond the bright lights but the questions will always remain?

©2021 CBialczak

10 thoughts on “As I Sit

  1. Your words are so full and so raw. And I am so sorry for your loss. There is one thing I learned that changes everything in our thinking, and that is replacing Why with What. Asking the questions in a different way changes everything.

    Liked by 2 people

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