From my desk: 05/09/2021

It is a bittersweet day today. I am proud to say that I raised two beautiful children but I am heartbroken that one left this world before me. My beautiful daughter is doing so well and I am so proud of her. I miss my son so very much it hurts more than I could ever explain.

I lost my mom when I was 23. It seems so long ago. I remember thinking that my life was left with a big gaping hole in it. Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I hope you are still watching over me.

I put my house on the market and got an offer the first day. I am so happy that it happened quickly but also so scared to make such a big move. I have done so many updates and fixed things so nicely, why move? But, isn’t that what happens? I am sure that whoever moves in will feel the love within the walls. When the house sells I will get to be back full-time with David but also farther away from my daughter. No decisions are one sidedly easy. But with Lindsay succeeding at her work and being so young and a strong person, she will do fine whether I am a town over or many states away.

I have been inconsistently active on my blog. There is so much that has to get done in a day and I honestly feel like I am on the go 24-7. If you are feeling bored let me know what you do to have the down-time! Lol. I appreciate every person who continues to read my work and “chat” with me. I suppose there will come a day where I can start structuring my time again. My father is so needy that it is often hard to sit and write when he is continually asking me questions or in need of something. He will be 89 next month. Holy cow!

If you continue to participate in Simply 6-Minutes on Tuesdays then Thank you! If you don’t participate yet, check it out on Tuesday. It is fun and relaxing and puts such a smile on my face. Spread the word…It’s all for the fun of it.

Does anyone remember when “Baked Lays” first came out and they were wreaking havoc on peoples’ stomachs? Supposedly whatever they put in their food that makes it fat free also leads to a laxative effect. I learned not too long ago and was reminded the other day that “sugar free” candy also has the same effect on the bowel track. So…if you are feeling irregular try the sugar free hard candies they sell at the Dollar Tree.

That is enough rambling for everyone for one day.
Peace to you all!
Have a very Happy Monday!

©2021 CBialczak

Calming Down

Many years ago when my son was having his most difficult times he began cutting. If you don’t know much about it here is a link: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/cutting-is-a-call-for-help/.
It is a horrible time for the individual as well as the people who love them.

While this was happening and I was seeking solutions, my therapist recommended this to me, as a method to use, especially with teens as it helps in multiple ways.
When people cut themselves they often leave scars. While the scars mar the skin, they are also a reminder of all the hurt and pain that was felt, hence the reason for cutting and getting the scars. This is a vicious cycle.
1. Purchase a good Vitamin E oil, or other oil that the individual likes both the smell and feel of.
2. Tell the individual that the oil is going to help calm the mind and help minimize scarring.
3. The individual is to put a small amount of oil on the scar, or scars, and rub them gently, massaging the oil into the skin.
4. This should be done at least three times a day but can be done EVERY time the individual is feeling stress or the need to cut.

What does this do?
By rubbing the skin, one is doing something called “self-soothing”. It relaxes the body by releasing serotonin and dopamine in the brain that send a positive message to the body. Read more here: https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-massage-affects-your-mood-334663052773.

Rubbing the oil also helps the skin heal to reduce scarring.

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My experience:

When I talked to my son about this he was “okay” with it because it was something that he could do, independently, so as not to have to rely on anyone or face any embarrassment. It could be done anytime since it was a quick process if necessary.
He did this whenever he had the “desire” to cut. It worked. He told me that it did help reduce that stress and feeling to hurt himself.

I taught this technique to my students when I was working at a Clinical Day Program for high school kids with emotional disturbances. Most of these students were extremely volatile, self-injurious, physically aggressive, and angry. For one student in particular, “Jenny”, she used this technique after I gave her the oil and she stopped cutting. Other students in my class used the technique and just described it as a relaxing thing to do.

I would love your feedback or if you have additional information you would like to share, please do.

©2021 CBialczak
*Disclaimer: I am not a physician and do not guarantee that this is a good solution. This is primarily anecdotal with personal experience as evidence. Talk to your own doctor.

New Prompt I found…from another WordPresser…

Thanks https://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2021/04/04/alleluia-happy-easter/

#hunthttp://Maureen Docherty @mordoc1 #vss365 #prompt Sunday 4 April 2021 #hunt

Easter egg hunts were one of the activities I loved most when my kids were little. I just wrote a bit about it last night. I love watching the kids run around, so excited. My late son was always the little one walking around slowly thinking about which one would be best to pick! My daughter would have a full basket and he would have one or two candies. She always shared with her little brother.

Check out the GoFundMe page…I am trying to raise enough funds to make a scholarship, with my son’s name on it, available to the high school he graduated from.

Please share this with everyone you know! I am dedicated to make this happen!

https://gofund.me/3aa1542f

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter Eve!

I miss Easter with the little kids. Every year we would have a big Easter egg hunt that the Easter Bunny would leave behind for the kids. Some years there were eggs full of candy, some years eggs full of money.

I will never forget one the last Easters that both my kids were living at home. I made sure the Easter Bunny left candy all over the yard. Joey wouldn’t participate. He was so angry because that was an activity for little kids. He saw life so black and white. The funniest part was Lindsay, who is 15 months older, was out in the yard running around like a maniac to find all the eggs. Such a good memory!

Holidays are hard after losing my son. Regular days are hard too but holidays bring so many more memories…

Have a happy and safe Easter Sunday! If you don’t celebrate Easter then have a great Sunday!

Peace to you!