National Poetry Month Scavenger Hunt

Write a quatern poem
https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2021/03/31/looking-for-poetry/

Living Alone in a Cabin

Living alone in a cabin 
Wondering who might stop over 
Waiting all day by the window 
Hoping someone would come to call. 

Watching the clouds in the blue sky 
Living alone in a cabin 
Thinking that life was just perfect 
Never wanting to tell the truth. 

For hours and hours you wait so still 
Until someone can find you here 
Living alone in a cabin 
Finding solitude relaxing. 

Suddenly your wish is answered 
When you hear a knock on the door 
Open to see who’s to visit 
Living alone in a cabin.  

©2021 CBialczak Poetry
NPM 21

National Poetry Month Scavenger Hunt

Write a Magic 9 poem using a theme of slavery, freedom, or manumission.
https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2021/03/31/looking-for-poetry/

I am not totally sure this makes sense but I’m giving it a try!

Equality

I never believed in my mind 

That one is better than you 

I don’t believe in the kind 

Of treatment so bad to a man 

I looked and tried to find 

Peace and freedom for all 

Like peeling back the rind 

Of an orange given to you 

Because love is colorblind 

©2021 CBialczak Poetry
NPM 21

National Poetry Month Scavenger Hunt

Write a poem incorporating your favorite beverage, an automotive malfunction, and basketball
https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2021/03/31/looking-for-poetry/

Flat Tire

I’m alone on the side of the road 
as I watch my tire deflate 
I think about having a beer 
but by then it will be too late 
So waiting I sit on the ball 
as I really have no good seat 
and wait for the tow truck to arrive 
as I space out and look at my feet 
I sit and think, “there is no hope” 
When in the horizon I see 
there is tow truck coming along 
and it’s coming there to help me. 
The driver was happy to see my good seat 
He said he played basketball 
He told me he had never been beat. 
So I laughed and tossed him the ball. 

©2021 CBialczak Poetry
NPM 21

National Poetry Month Scavenger Hunt

Write a poem. Use the following words in a poem: equal, umbrella, tidy, weight https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2021/03/31/looking-for-poetry/

Gardening

With my umbrella straight by my side 
Walking along down the road 
A bag of rocks in my sac 
I limp from the weight of the load.  

I keep the rocks at my home 
to make sure the yard is complete 
I like all my gardens real tidy 
I like all my work to be neat. 

When all of the work has been done 
and I’m ready to sit down and rest 
I know that my work is complete 
I know that I have done my best.  

©2021 CBialczak Poetry
NPM 21

National Poetry Month Scavenger Hunt

Find it here: https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2021/03/31/looking-for-poetry/

Write a Dizain:

Dizain Poems

The dizain gets us back in the French form domain, which as regular readers know is a favorite of mine. This particular form was a favorite of 15th and 16th century French poets, but it has also been employed in English by the likes of Philip Sidney and John Keats.

Here are the basic rules of the dizain:

  • One 10-line stanza
  • 10 syllables per line
  • Employs the following rhyme scheme: ababbccdcd

Memories

Memories will only last a lifetime 
 
Hold tight onto the precious days ahead 
 
The hill tomorrow will be a hard climb 
 
But the memories help get you from bed 
 
Or keep you balled up and alone instead. 
 
The tears will flow freely from eyes of glass 
 
No worries ’bout this, you know it will pass 
 
But the heart will have its hole forever 
 
No matter your actions, money, or class 
 
your tears will always flow like a river. 

©2021 CBialczak Poetry
NPM 21

Happy Easter Eve!

I miss Easter with the little kids. Every year we would have a big Easter egg hunt that the Easter Bunny would leave behind for the kids. Some years there were eggs full of candy, some years eggs full of money.

I will never forget one the last Easters that both my kids were living at home. I made sure the Easter Bunny left candy all over the yard. Joey wouldn’t participate. He was so angry because that was an activity for little kids. He saw life so black and white. The funniest part was Lindsay, who is 15 months older, was out in the yard running around like a maniac to find all the eggs. Such a good memory!

Holidays are hard after losing my son. Regular days are hard too but holidays bring so many more memories…

Have a happy and safe Easter Sunday! If you don’t celebrate Easter then have a great Sunday!

Peace to you!

National Poetry Month Scavenger Hunt

Write a poem about lost love https://murisopsis.wordpress.com/2021/03/31/looking-for-poetry/

Lost Love Learned Hard

There was a time when I knew I loved you 
My heart broke with the words; lies or truths 
Never to be known 
Years passed but the feelings never left 
Seeing you in a crowd 
Seeing your smile 
Feeling your arms around me again 
Love is rekindled so easily 
as it never left the heart 
Until the day you broke it 
All a farce to break my heart 
the way I broke yours.  

©2021 CBialczak Poetry

Memoir Excerpt

The First Few Weeks: Losing a spouse

On the Life Change Index Scale1 losing a spouse scores 100 points, meaning it is the most stressful event you could ever have to deal with. Being through it, I would say it is one of the top two, the second being the loss of your child. There are instantaneous changes that you aren’t prepared to make and decisions that need time, but which must be made almost immediately. Future events swirl in your head, what did you get done on that bucket list anyhow? Becoming a widow, or widower, is a new life whether you like it or not.

There are obviously so many circumstances around death, none of which truly make sense when you are grieving the loss. If it was a long-term illness, you may have had time to come to terms with the fact that death was coming but if it was a short, unexpected illness, then that prep time was not included. The same is said for an accident, which I have also dealt with having lost my son thirteen months after my husband died, but even this scenario is different than sickness. Supposedly, we all know that we will not live forever but when that final day has come it is not an easy time for anyone.

The death of a loved one after a long-term illness is extremely hard, especially if it is a child. All the months or years thinking about that final day and how you will react, how you will feel, how you will survive, all go through your head like a continuous whirlpool in the great river of life. I lost my mother to Cancer. She had been sick for about ten years. She went into remission once, had a bone marrow transplant once, and died…once. From the first day of learning of her illness I still remember thinking, what am I going to do without a mother? Who in their right minds thinks this when previously life seemed as normal as can be? As the months went by and chemo treatments ensued, questions as to how long this torture would take came up quite frequently. In your mind you want to hope it would all end, but in hoping that are you hoping the one you love will die? No! You just want the sickness to end, the turmoil, the bump in your smooth road of life. But when you wish for the end, you don’t know if God knows which end you are wishing for.

Time passes, sick days prevail, some good days sneak in, and during this whole debacle you are given the opportunity to realize all the situations that are being laid before you. What happens after? How do they want to be remembered and what can I deal with for the rest of my life? Whose say is it anyhow, once they are gone? Will they look down from Heaven and think, “Hey, that isn’t what I wanted you to do with my ashes!” Unfortunately, the answers to your questions never come with any certainty, only hope.

Flip over to the short illness and all the troubles and questions you may have had with someone ill for a long time are suddenly thrust at you on top of the chaos your life is already taking on. As I sat next to the hospital bed, I kept watching for a sign. I don’t know what it was going to be a sign of, just something! My late husband died on the operating table after undergoing a liver transplant. The liver transplant was supposed to save his life and I guess if he hadn’t had uncontrolled bleeding that could have come to fruition. It was only five short weeks from realizing he was sick to dealing with his death, in which terror frequently arose in my mind, wondering what life would be like without him.

You are supposed to stay optimistic in situations such as illness or injury, but even with the optimism there are questions that need answers and must be asked. Trying to find the appropriate time is the tricky part, a time that never seems to happen. You think about finances, children if you have them, your home, your current life and schedule, everything! There seems to be no good time, however, that you can turn to your sick spouse and ask them if they want to be cremated or buried, if they want a memorial service or viewing hours at a funeral home. These decisions, if you hadn’t spoken about them before this, all seem to be so urgent, yet can’t be talked about at this moment in time because if you talk about them, they might just happen. Luckily, I knew Vincent wanted to be cremated, he did not want a wake with a casket, and he assumed he would be too old to care anyway. Things don’t always work out as they should, hence, turmoil.

From my desk: 03/25/2021

I have not had my usual presence on WordPress, as I am accustomed to and happy with. I have so much going on that my head spins constantly and I am trying to hold on for dear life so I don’t fall off this ride called life!

Back in February my stepmother passed away. It was quite sudden. I didn’t realize that the day she passed was the day my life would change, once again! I could go through all of my tragedies but I won’t. If you are curious, check out my About page. Anyhow, I am now the full-time caregiver for my father who suffers from Alzheimer’s. I knew this day would come but I didn’t think it would come so fast.

My fiance, David, and daughter live 1200 miles away from me. My daughter is doing phenomenally well in her career. She is working for Momentum Solar and is a natural when it comes to sales. My fiance is working his job, taking care of my house and my dog and my guinea pigs. I am busy too! But it is more of a mentally busy thing than physical.

Yes, you read that last paragraph correctly…David proposed and I said yes! We don’t have a date set yet but I am hoping my father will be well enough to walk me down the aisle for the second time.

There is a lot that I miss, now that my life is so….different. Besides missing David and Lindsay, there is so much more….
I miss my dog. I miss making my miniatures at my work station at my house. I miss my comfy bed. I miss my medical marijuana. I miss my alone time. I miss writing every day. I miss blogging all the time. I miss chatting with people and reading about people’s experiences. I miss taking pictures of birds. I miss all the things that were so familiar!
But I am lucky to have as much as I do. I am lucky that my father thinks I am so wonderful! I am lucky I have a roof over my head and food on my table. I am lucky to log on to my blog and see that people are still reading my posts and following me and enjoying my writing.

Life is so strange. I sometimes wonder, “when will life be normal?”, but what is normal? Maybe this life, with all of its chaos is normal! I just wonder if there is ever a time in life where you can just sit back and really just enjoy the world around you without feeling like your head is going to spin right off your neck!

Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for participating in my Simply 6 Minutes Writing each week. Thanks for following me. My blogging world is such a comfortable world!

If you haven’t already seen it, I have a Go Fund Me page for a scholarship I would like to present to the school my son graduated high school from right before he passed away. I want his name to be called out each spring as his school presents two scholarships to students who excel in math. That was his passion. If you could share the page that would be great. It is a large sum of money, so that the scholarship can be sustained for years and years. The more people who see it, the better my chances of reaching my goal will be. If everyone who saw it donated even $5, I would reach and possibly exceed the goal I have set. All money will go to the school for scholarships under my son’s name. If it isn’t enough, then perhaps it will only be a few years of scholarships. If it exceeds what is needed to start a scholarship then perhaps it can be offered to more students that attend his former high school. Thank you ahead of time for sharing the link!

https://gofund.me/3aa1542f