Maggie is the host of Throwback Thursday: https://fromcavewalls.wordpress.com/2022/08/04/throwback-thursday-50-are-rules-made-to-be-broken/
You can either free write using these questions as inspiration or answer the question as they are.
- Who in your family was the person who made and enforced rules? My mom. I saw my dad get mad at my sister a few times but I don’t really ever remember getting in trouble with him.
- Did you grow up with many rules, or was your life a little more flexible? I want to say that we had a lot of rules but they were reasonable. Don’t go places by yourself, no boys in the house if adults are not home, be home on time, if you aren’t where you are supposed to be just call. I feel like things were tight but I guess I always felt pretty safe.
- Were you a rule follower or a rule breaker? Definitely a rule follower, and still one. I remember getting in trouble at school only a handful of times and they were all for not doing what I was supposed to, but nothing out of the ordinary. I gave a girl a “flat tire” in 3rd or 4th grade, I cheated on a chemistry test, I wrote the Lord’s prayer all wrong in 4th grade on my cutting board project, …The biggest rule I broke was when I first got my driver’s license. The rule was: no one else in the car until I was told it was okay, don’t go on the highway by yourself, don’t drink and drive, and don’t speed. Well, on the first day with my license I went and picked up my two best friends, hopped on the highway and drove to buy beer in the city. I didn’t drink it though! I was so scared because my father was my insurance agent and I was told that if I ever got a ticket they would take my license from me until I was an adult.
- How were discipline and – in contrast – rewards managed in your household? Discipline was mostly just getting yelled at. I remember being little and being spanked. I didn’t get in trouble much so I don’t really remember being “grounded”. I think having a good life was the reward. My mom would come home with something little as a surprise or my dad would bring home a candy bar…
- Were you given the opportunity to plead your case in matters of disagreement? For the most part, my mother was always right….and honestly, she was mostly right!
- What tools did your parents use – ‘I’m going to count to three‘ or ‘don’t make me get up‘ or a time-out chair? I remember things like: “Say that again and I’ll wash your mouth out with soap”, “if I have to turn around..”, or THE LOOK!!!
- Did fear of discipline curb your desire to break or bend the rules? Thinking back, I think I knew that the rules were pretty set so you either followed them or broke them.
- Did your upbringing influence the way you (as an adult) managed rules in your own home? Definitely! I didn’t yell, I whispered (mostly). I spanked each of my kids once and thought it was the dumbest punishment. How does whacking your kid on the ass teach them anything? My mother was big on honesty and that was my biggest thing. It was always, “tell the truth and you will get a fair punishment, but if I find out you lied….”
- Were you ever ‘grounded’? Do you want to share the story? Like I mentioned I don’t remember getting grounded. Apparently, if I did it wasn’t for anything exciting.
- Did you break rules your parents never knew about? Want to confess and leave with a clear conscious? No? I broke the rules about drinking alcohol. I broke the rules about smoking pot, but that was about it.
3 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday #50 – Are Rules Made to be Broken?”
Who in your family was the person who made and enforced rules?
Mom, except when I got out of control Dad would intervene and spank me really hard.
Did you grow up with many rules, or was your life a little more flexible? The rules were never really stated, I was just expected to know, I guess.
Were you a rule follower or a rule breaker? Follower.
How were discipline and – in contrast – rewards managed in your household? I was easily overwhelmed and prone to outbursts when things weren’t going my way, and this was dealt with by being told to take a time out or calm down or something. If I got violent, it was dealt with by spanking. There weren’t really any rewards, although sometimes I talked my parents into early birthday or Christmas presents for expensive things I really wanted. But rewards were never tied to good behavior or anything.
Were you given the opportunity to plead your case in matters of disagreement? No.
What tools did your parents use – ‘I’m going to count to three‘ or ‘don’t make me get up‘ or a time-out chair? I don’t remember…
Did fear of discipline curb your desire to break or bend the rules? Yes. I never really had that desire to begin with.
Did your upbringing influence the way you (as an adult) managed rules in your own home? Yes. Not being allowed to have my own life, the way I was always treated like there was something wrong with me, the way Mom talks about everyone behind their backs so I was afraid to ever have friends over, the way Mom and Dad always made fun of me and shamed me whenever I’d express natural and healthy interest in a girl, it made me completely socially inept, so I never had a chance to meet the special someone and start a family of my own, so I have no one to manage rules for.
Were you ever ‘grounded’? Do you want to share the story? I never went anywhere anyway, I didn’t have friends, so there was no point to being grounded.
Did you break rules your parents never knew about? Want to confess and leave with a clear conscious? Not really.
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You are still young enough to meet new people. You just have to find the right place to meet them.
Great responses, Christine. It’s good that even though you had a lot of rules, you judged them as fair and reasonable. I think that’s important for a child. Thanks for participating today.
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