Throwback Thursday #26 – Career Dreams

Maggie is the host of Throwback Thursday

This week we are here to talk about those childhood dreams that may or may not have come to fruition.

I don’t really recall what I “wanted to be” when I was little. I think I always thought I would be a teacher. When I was in college I guess I missed the information that was out there because I didn’t think about what I wanted to do…I know that sounds strange…Let me explain, as I figured this out only recently now later in life.

When I was in high school and going into college my mother had cancer. I was the caretaker of my little brother when she couldn’t do it. We talked about going to college but never about careers. When I was in college I just figured I liked “psychiatric stuff” so I majored in Psychology. I can’t remember or understand why it never came up with anyone but I had no idea what I wanted to do and I don’t mean because I was confused. I mean because I never recall ever thinking about it.
Anyhow, towards the end of my undergraduate degree I remember thinking I would love to be a psychiatrist. My father had said he would help me financially but at the time I was in the mind set that 1. I didn’t want to be in college forever and 2. I didn’t want to have to dissect a human body, something I thought was definitely a requirement. I wish I had done it. My dream job for so long would have been working with the really insane.
Years later as I had kids and all that I went into teaching. I worked for a psychiatric hospital teaching at their clinical day program. That was purely by chance because when I applied for the job I had no idea what kind of school it was.
I might sound like my head was always in the clouds but I don’t remember feeling like that.
At one point I told my husband that I wanted to try and join the FBI. I wanted to be like Clarice in Silence of the Lambs and work with the insane. He told me we would have to move every 7 years and he wasn’t really willing to do something like that so I never looked into it.

I guess I have regrets. I have three advanced degrees so I am super educated but there are so many other things I would have loved to have known about. Forensics, research, clinical trials, taxes, being an attorney….

Now, I don’t work outside of my home anymore. I “retired” early from teaching, even though I loved it, after I lost my son. I couldn’t think about being around other peoples’ kids when one of mine was gone. I miss it still. Now I take care of my father who has Alzheimers. He is like a toddler. I guess my whole life did revolve around the psychiatric-type stuff but there are so many other things that could have been done.

6 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday #26 – Career Dreams

  1. Christine, this was a very meaningful and touching post. Maybe because my mom also had cancer (I was 20 when she died) and my life has been peppered with loss and grief since I was a young girl. It changes us. You have accomplished so much and I admire you for the work you wanted to do. It takes a certain kind of person to do work such as this. I can not imagine the pain of losing a child, but I understand why you would want to step out of teaching. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I feel for you. I truly do. I have lost all my grandparents, parents, and two sisters. Grief challenges us in a way that nothing else does. I know caring for your father is bittersweet. I hope you have a good support system. I have a friend who created a non-profit after losing her father to Alzheimer’s if you are interested. http://thepurplesherpa.org/

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Sorry Christine, I missed your post earlier. I can certainly understand dealing with your loss meaning you didn’t look into more possibilities. It sounds like you did work in the field that interested you, just in a different capacity.
    We all look back at what other possibilities we might have chosen.
    Caring for your father is a wonderful mitzvah. I lost my maternal grandmother to that horrible disease. I hope you have a support system as move through this difficult time.

    Liked by 1 person

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