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Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a humorous rant. In this poem, you may excoriate to your heart’s content all the things that get on your nerves. 

The General Public

Sitting next to someone 
as any person knows 
can be so annoying 
no matter how it goes 
 
You can hear them chewing 
even when you’re not 
And you can hear them sniffle 
Was that really snot? 
 
Then out again you go 
to shop until you drop 
and see all the people 
The madness has to stop 
 
Nothing here smells good 
and crowds all look crappy 
all the moms are screaming 
and no kids are happy. 
 
The family up in  front 
decides they need to talk 
when all of a sudden 
they decide not to walk. 
 
So now you are so close 
you can hear what they say 
you really couldn’t care 
about the food they ate that day. 
 
And so you move around 
to get past this whole pack 
Only now you went too far 
and now you go right back. 
 
You decide you must leave 
You’re done shopping at this store 
You need a store that sells  
plants and wood galore. 
 
You find the perfect section 
that has only stuff you need 
but every aisle’s blocked off 
So now you’re getting peeved. 
 
How are you supposed to 
get a bulb from their lane four 
when all the ends of aisles 
are roped off from the floor? 
 
Go try to find a person 
who might be able to assist 
You can’t find even one of them 
You want to scream but you resist. 

©2021 CBialczak Poetry
NaPoWriMo 2021