“I never want that again”

Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge: Tuesday, 25, 2020 https://godoggocafe.com/2020/02/25/tuesday-writing-prompt-challenge-tuesday-25-2020/

As I sit and contemplate the choices I have made, I will say that they have been primarily good ones, except for those regarding you. You were a whim, a spur-of-the-moment decision gone bad. When I walked in, glanced your way, I knew what my gut was telling me, “Go the other way.” But despite my good sense and the feeling in my gut I chose the seat next to you, you were magnetic. There was no glamour, not kind words, just that look which told me to run, but which made me stay. As time slowly ticked on the feelings of dread, deep in the pit of my stomach, grew with each breath I took. On each inhale your smell filled my nostrils and on each exhale my good sense depleted. I didn’t even know your name, but your eyes were compelling and your voice hypnotic. But where are the niceties? Where are the compliments or the promises of love? Did I set myself up? Yes, for I knew deep in the deepest crevices of my intellect that the choice I was about to make was wrong for me. And so, without listening to my gut, my soul, my instincts, I left with you.

Now, I am here, you are gone, and there is nothing left but regret and disdain, sadness that reaches every inch of my being. I tell myself, “I never want that again”, but if I didn’t listen the first time, will I listen when you walk through those doors again?

©2020 CBialczak

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