From my desk: 05/09/2021

It is a bittersweet day today. I am proud to say that I raised two beautiful children but I am heartbroken that one left this world before me. My beautiful daughter is doing so well and I am so proud of her. I miss my son so very much it hurts more than I could ever explain.

I lost my mom when I was 23. It seems so long ago. I remember thinking that my life was left with a big gaping hole in it. Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I hope you are still watching over me.

I put my house on the market and got an offer the first day. I am so happy that it happened quickly but also so scared to make such a big move. I have done so many updates and fixed things so nicely, why move? But, isn’t that what happens? I am sure that whoever moves in will feel the love within the walls. When the house sells I will get to be back full-time with David but also farther away from my daughter. No decisions are one sidedly easy. But with Lindsay succeeding at her work and being so young and a strong person, she will do fine whether I am a town over or many states away.

I have been inconsistently active on my blog. There is so much that has to get done in a day and I honestly feel like I am on the go 24-7. If you are feeling bored let me know what you do to have the down-time! Lol. I appreciate every person who continues to read my work and “chat” with me. I suppose there will come a day where I can start structuring my time again. My father is so needy that it is often hard to sit and write when he is continually asking me questions or in need of something. He will be 89 next month. Holy cow!

If you continue to participate in Simply 6-Minutes on Tuesdays then Thank you! If you don’t participate yet, check it out on Tuesday. It is fun and relaxing and puts such a smile on my face. Spread the word…It’s all for the fun of it.

Does anyone remember when “Baked Lays” first came out and they were wreaking havoc on peoples’ stomachs? Supposedly whatever they put in their food that makes it fat free also leads to a laxative effect. I learned not too long ago and was reminded the other day that “sugar free” candy also has the same effect on the bowel track. So…if you are feeling irregular try the sugar free hard candies they sell at the Dollar Tree.

That is enough rambling for everyone for one day.
Peace to you all!
Have a very Happy Monday!

©2021 CBialczak

Calming Down

Many years ago when my son was having his most difficult times he began cutting. If you don’t know much about it here is a link: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/cutting-is-a-call-for-help/.
It is a horrible time for the individual as well as the people who love them.

While this was happening and I was seeking solutions, my therapist recommended this to me, as a method to use, especially with teens as it helps in multiple ways.
When people cut themselves they often leave scars. While the scars mar the skin, they are also a reminder of all the hurt and pain that was felt, hence the reason for cutting and getting the scars. This is a vicious cycle.
1. Purchase a good Vitamin E oil, or other oil that the individual likes both the smell and feel of.
2. Tell the individual that the oil is going to help calm the mind and help minimize scarring.
3. The individual is to put a small amount of oil on the scar, or scars, and rub them gently, massaging the oil into the skin.
4. This should be done at least three times a day but can be done EVERY time the individual is feeling stress or the need to cut.

What does this do?
By rubbing the skin, one is doing something called “self-soothing”. It relaxes the body by releasing serotonin and dopamine in the brain that send a positive message to the body. Read more here: https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-massage-affects-your-mood-334663052773.

Rubbing the oil also helps the skin heal to reduce scarring.

***************************************************************************************************

My experience:

When I talked to my son about this he was “okay” with it because it was something that he could do, independently, so as not to have to rely on anyone or face any embarrassment. It could be done anytime since it was a quick process if necessary.
He did this whenever he had the “desire” to cut. It worked. He told me that it did help reduce that stress and feeling to hurt himself.

I taught this technique to my students when I was working at a Clinical Day Program for high school kids with emotional disturbances. Most of these students were extremely volatile, self-injurious, physically aggressive, and angry. For one student in particular, “Jenny”, she used this technique after I gave her the oil and she stopped cutting. Other students in my class used the technique and just described it as a relaxing thing to do.

I would love your feedback or if you have additional information you would like to share, please do.

©2021 CBialczak
*Disclaimer: I am not a physician and do not guarantee that this is a good solution. This is primarily anecdotal with personal experience as evidence. Talk to your own doctor.

“Soapbox” Rant

This is solely my opinion and it is not intended to upset, insite, or interfere with anyone’s ideas, thoughts, wishes…On a whole – please don’t read this if you are going to get mad and write me back that I am all wrong – it is just what goes on in my head…..I do not, repeat do not, mean to offend anyone one.

In this day and age, 2021, we are introduced to so many technological breakthroughs, medical advances, and things most people over the age of 45 probably only thought were mind games years ago. I mean who watched the “Jetsons” and thought how cool it would be to have all those computerized gadgets then thought, “yeah, right, like this could ever really happen?”

So with all we have learned and been taught, how on earth can we still say that because people are a different color on the outside they should be any different than another color? I watch the news and it is all about color and treatment. Don’t we know by now that biologically humans are one species? There is no race that is better than another. If you have bad experiences you might have some “thoughts” about another race but give me a break. Are you really going to argue that because someone is a different color or looks different that they are less than you?

Now this is going to enter into some tricky realm because of phrasing and “socially appropriate”, blah, blah, blah…I get it. What I don’t get is why some people think that whites are the best. Haven’t we all heard the term “white trash”? And how can you say black people are lower than white people when some of the greatest people in our history have been black? You really want to tell me that Martin Luther King Jr. was not a great man? Him and Abraham Lincoln would have been best friends!!!!! I am not saying that it is only black versus white. There are other ethnic “issues” I have heard of like black versus hispanic, chinese vs central american, white vs white, black vs black….They are all the same.

I can’t even think about all of the different ethnic groups, colors, “kinds” of people around our world. Some don’t have the advances as the rest of the world does, so if they don’t understand the full biological difference than they get a pass on my rant, but the rest of the world? Shame on you all for thinking that color alone makes a human being different than another human being! ANY COLOR! It isn’t just black and white.

Okay, thank you for listening. I will put my soapbox away and store it, hoping I don’t feel the need to take it out again.

Phew, now I feel a little better!

Peace to you all!

Random Friday Poem

I am from the NE US but have been living in the SE US. I cannot get used to the temperature difference. This was just my thoughts for the morning.

Have to get up/where is the robe
Not enough heat/I will adjust
Cannot take the cold/bones hurt
Shivers run through/cold hurts
Blood needs to warm/have to get up
Get used to it/it is not cold
Stay covered up/things to do
Turn up the heat/not fast enough
Have to get up/deal with the cold

©2021 CBialczak Poetry

12 Bloggerz! April 2021

Welcome to 12 Bloggerz!

Game #12– April 2021
Season 3
Meet the Bloggerz Directory: https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2021/04/07/12-bloggerz-april-2021/

Would you want to be a millionaire and if so why and if not why not? Yes. I could find plenty of good things to do with that kind of money. I would make sure my debt was gone and that I was comfortable. After that I would probably use the money to travel to areas that need help. I would be willing to do work to help needy areas…taking care of people, building things they need, helping in other ways.
Do you listen more to the voice in your head or your gut when making difficult decisions? Definitely my head…It is so damn loud I seem to have no choice.
Should we be afraid of our nightmares or see them as a sign of improvement? I am scared as hell! The good ones are fine, the others are just like dealing with stress but you are sleeping. I have told many people before that I had to get help from my therapist for my spider nightmares. Yeah, I am a true arachnophobe and don’t find spider pranks funny.
Are you a fan of cult movies and if so which ones and why? No, I don’t think I have ever seen one. I don’t really know what they are either so I don’t think I could say I was a fan.
What comedy film you could watch over and over? Either The Money Pit or Ace Ventura Pet Detective
How often can you listen to your favourite music for more than an hour in a day or a week without interruptions? I can listen forever…I just don’t know why people have to keep interrupting me! I don’t listen that often though because I sort of forget that is an enjoyable option in life.
What is in your opinion the best way to make an omelette? Eggs and Cheese
When was the last time you were completely naughty? Well, this is a PG site I believe so my answer will be family friendly…Last weekend I was a bit proud of myself!
What’s the secret to making someone laugh hard? It has to be about real life and something that is outright silly. Nothing embarrassing, nothing at anyone else’s expense. Usually it is when someone, me or someone else, just says something so odd yet fitting. Hard to explain. I just picture me and my daughter laughing with tears in the car about something I said…
How forgetful are you and why does the word look so silly when written? I am forgetful if put on the spot but I do remember quite a lot…especially those pieces of information that are completely useless and unrelated to anything. It looks silly when it is written because it looks like it should have another “t”.
What advice did your parents give you about LIFE that you too have passed on to your own children or friends? No one but you can make you happy.
How often do you surf for something on the internet but end up hours later looking at something else … why does it happen to you, what causes you to stray? That happens quite often. I start looking for something and like to dig a bit deeper. Every site has extra information that then peaks my interest in something else. Sometimes by the time I am exhausted and “done” with the computer I don’t even remember what I was on there for in the first place.

©2021 CBialczak

New Prompt I found…from another WordPresser…

Thanks https://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2021/04/04/alleluia-happy-easter/

#hunthttp://Maureen Docherty @mordoc1 #vss365 #prompt Sunday 4 April 2021 #hunt

Easter egg hunts were one of the activities I loved most when my kids were little. I just wrote a bit about it last night. I love watching the kids run around, so excited. My late son was always the little one walking around slowly thinking about which one would be best to pick! My daughter would have a full basket and he would have one or two candies. She always shared with her little brother.

Check out the GoFundMe page…I am trying to raise enough funds to make a scholarship, with my son’s name on it, available to the high school he graduated from.

Please share this with everyone you know! I am dedicated to make this happen!

https://gofund.me/3aa1542f

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter Eve!

I miss Easter with the little kids. Every year we would have a big Easter egg hunt that the Easter Bunny would leave behind for the kids. Some years there were eggs full of candy, some years eggs full of money.

I will never forget one the last Easters that both my kids were living at home. I made sure the Easter Bunny left candy all over the yard. Joey wouldn’t participate. He was so angry because that was an activity for little kids. He saw life so black and white. The funniest part was Lindsay, who is 15 months older, was out in the yard running around like a maniac to find all the eggs. Such a good memory!

Holidays are hard after losing my son. Regular days are hard too but holidays bring so many more memories…

Have a happy and safe Easter Sunday! If you don’t celebrate Easter then have a great Sunday!

Peace to you!

April 1, 2021: NaPoWriMo

Check it out here: https://www.napowrimo.net/ and https://youtu.be/bX_xh2do3eM

Hello, poets! Happy First Day of Na/GloPoWrimo 2021! I hope you’re ready to plunge into a world of similes, metaphors, line breaks, rhymes, meter, and all of the other tricks and turns of the poem-writing trade.

Our featured participant today is Namratha Varadhajaran of Namy Says So, who brings us a poem inspired by and Azetec sculpture and yesterday’s featured poetry reading!

Still Adore Dali

With madness up there in my mind 
I think about the man 
who trained my brain to see such things, 
everything it can. 
 
I never knew him as a friend 
I wish I knew him then 
If I could see inside his brain 
just tell me where and when. 
 
He is a master of the art 
he is the abstract king 
With color and his great ideas 
his art can make me sing. 
 
Oh do you know this magic man 
of whom I praise like this? 
His name of Sal was one I wish 
Could follow my name Chris. 

©2021 CBialczak Poetry
NaPoWriMo2021