1. A Tale of Two Cities – A rat that travels between New York and Boston 2. Pride and Prejudice – The US 2020 Election 3. Little Women – The actors who starred as the Munchkins in the original Wizard of Oz 4. The Carpetbaggers – The rock group containing Shaggy 5. What Katy Did Next – life after Katy Perry’s concert 6. Dune – documentary about sea turtles 7. Cider with Rosie – making juice with Rosie O’donnell 8. Far from the Madding Crowd – The fans sitting on the other side of stadium away from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (formerly the crowd on the other side of the New England Patriots) 9. Jaws – Like Dr. Pimple Popper but working on bad teeth instead 10. The Lord of the Rings – ice skating championship event
I haven’t done a fibbing Friday in a long time. Now that I am no longer tutoring in the morning I have set my own new routine. First the dog walk, then the PT exercises, then the vibration machine to help strengthen my muscles, and finally….my blog! Yahoo!
1. What is meant by a break in the weather? This is what you take when you are indoors at work all day…gets you outside for a bit. 2. Why does thunder clap? It is applauding the beautiful display from the lightening. 3. What is a heat wave? Sort of like a heat flash but it lasts longer 4. What are hot pants? The pants you wear to burn off a little of the excess fat from the thighs. 5. Who or what is canned heat? Tabasco Sauce…what else? 6. Who sang ‘The heat is on’? The lady baking the pie 7. Where will you find hot air? In your ex’s apology 8. Who starred in the film Heat? Heat 9. Who or what is Hot Gossip? the opposite of cold gossip 10. What is a hot toddy? A sweaty little kid
1. What is a tie dye? The typical shelf life of a necktie 2. What is a raglan sleeve? The part of the shirt a normal raglan wears 3. What is seersucker? Someone who always falls for a seer 4. What is meant by a dropped waist? This is the process of teaching where to put your clothing before you use the restroom 5. What is a yoke collar? The rim around an egg yolk that keeps the yolk together when you fry it 6. What is meant by pigeon toed? The abuse a pigeon gets from pedestrians 7. How many pleats are in a kilt? It depends on the size of the kilt 8. What is bias binding? Having a bias or point of view and proving that your bias is the right one 9. What is velcro? What isn’t velcro? 10. What is twill webbing? the process of a twill spinning its web
Why is Mardis Gras (aka Shrove Tuesday) also known as Pancake Day?
Why do so many people eat fish during Lent?
What is the difference between sushi and sashimi?
What is noodling?
How do you clean a fish?
What are Swedish fish?
What is a Bishop’s Mitre?
What was the movie, The Shoes of the Fisherman about?
What is the first day after Lent known as?
How did tartar sauce gets its name? When a woman asked her husband to mix mayo and relish he gagged and said, “Ta-ta”, as he went to the restroom to throw up. It then morphed into Tar-tar.
Why is Mardi Gras also known as Pancake Day? Because when people are celebrating they get so very hungry and the best economical choice has always been IHOP because they have all-you-can-eat pancakes.
Why do so many people eat fish during Lent? Because it is cheaper than most good cuts of beef
What is the difference between sushi and sashimi? If you don’t know then you don’t eat either, so I’m not going to try and explain the difference.
What is noodling? It has two meanings: One, it’s the act of hanging out with friends in the pool using floaties. Two, it’s the act of covering someone who is drunk and asleep with cooked spaghetti.
How do you clean a fish? First, flip it over and find it’s butt. Using a soft cloth and a mild soap remove any sign of poop. Next, make sure there is nothing under their fins. Finally, check that the eyes are not cloudy. It should be clean after that.
What are Swedish fish? Obviously the fish that swim off the coast of or in Swedish waterways.
What is the Bishop’s Mitre? It is a type of saw used in cutting lumber for building a church.
What was the movie, The Shoes of the Fisherman about? The extensive collection of both dress and casual footwear
What is the first day after Lent known as? Borrowed
1. Why is a Pantomime thus called? What else would you call the creepy guys clothing choice? 2. Why was the White Rabbit late? It was waiting for a white Christmas 3. What happened when Aladdin rubbed the lamp for the first time? Ew, that’s gross and awfully private. Why does he call it a lamp anyhow? 4. How many ugly sisters were there? I really only have one if I had to say “ugly”. 5. What did Jack exchange for the magic beans? A lot of gas! 6. Why do they always shout ‘It’s behind you!!’ Because if it was in front of you you would see it. 7. What was the house in the woods made of that Hansel and Gretel found? Um, wood. 8. Who owned The Mirror Mirror on the wall? Probably the store the store before the customer the customer 9. What was the name of Dick Whittington’s cat? No, that’s what he called his wife when they argued! 10. Who was Tinkerbell? The guy who fixed the bell in the belltower, a tinkerer of sorts.
1. What is Kapok? A food additive 2. Where will you find a kernel? Where else? In the army. 3. If you didn’t know a door as a door, what would you call it? The Opencloser 4. What’s the difference between a yolk and a yoke? Well, the first one has an “l” and the second one has an “e” 5. What does E R N I E do? Whatever Bert tells him to do 6. What is meant by sunny side up? Any country north of the equator 7. What could you wear on your head that would make people think you were awesome? Probably a headband that says “I’m Awesome!” 8. What is meant by cattywampus? It is a group of stray cats that live in one area, sort of like a on a campus. 9. What is an erf? The polite way to say you farted 10. What is a mouse potato? What isn’t a mouse potato?
1. Who met for the first time at The Duck and Drake Inn in London on May 20th 1604?Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny met that night and then the following night Porky Pig showed up. 2. Why was the opening of Parliament delayed from July to November the following year?Renovations 3. Who used the name John Johnson as an alias?That has to be Michael Michaelson 4. Why did the Gunpowder Plot fail?Because nobody brought a lighter or matches to set it off! 5. Who designed the iconic Guy Fawkes mask? Some creepy-ass pedophile that thought smiling at children would be a good way to lure them to his bag of candy. 6. Why are the cellars of the Palace of Westminster inspected before Parliament opens?To make sure they have enough bottles of wine to accommodate the guests. 7. What do MacBeth and the Gunpowder Plot have in common?MacBeth wanted to kill that other guy so he made up this plot to blow him up with the gunpowder, but like I mentioned above, he didn’t think to bring a lighter or a match so it failed. 8. Where will you find Guy Fawkes Island?On a map 9. Who was on the throne at the time of the Gunpowder Plot?Obviously the King! 10. How did Guy Fawkes die?He was given the death penalty when he was arrested for being a pedophile. He committed suicide before they could do the public hanging because he didn’t want children to see him get hung.
1. What is a pince nez? The title of the Prince News except told by the guy with a really bad speech impediment 2. Who had the original telephone number Whitehall 1212? Well, George Washington of course! It was the kind on the wall, placed in the hall of the Whitehouse. 3. Who reportedly lived at 221B Baker Street? Basil the Mouse 4. What happened in Pudding Lane in 1666? The baker wanted to make the cake but forgot the flour so he inadvertently invented pudding! 5. Who resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? An orange, evil troll who takes children and doesn’t like many people besides his own friends. 6. What happened on the 8th August 1963? The backlash of the incident on the 7th of August 1963 7. Who lost their head on 16th October 1793? One of the witches that lived in Salem Massachusetts, to be rid of her before Halloween. 8. What was in operation between April 3 1860 and October 24 1861 but failed due to bankruptcy? Probably a famous official that couldn’t go back to work after the operation. 9. What is the significance of The Golden Hind? It is the king’s or queen’s ass, but in a polite way of saying it. 10. Who was Spencer Perceval? The son of Mr. and Mrs. Perceval