Three years have gone by without a sound
Your voice is silent
Your love is missed
So many lives have lived three years
missing you.
©2022 CBialczak Poetry
Three Years Gone
Category: Grief
Hopes for myself (take them for you too!)
Alone with time to think of all the things once available now gone, unused now missing, hurtful yet yearned for. Knowing the things I miss do not miss me, the people that have thrown me away do not want me back, and all I have is worth so much more?
Why is it that despite all I have
I grieve things that never meant much to me?
Why is it that despite all of the good people in my life
I grieve the loss of people who don’t care about me?
May sunshine fill my eyes
May music fill my ears
May beauty fill my hands
May sweetness fill my nostrils
May Peace enter me and remain there forever.
©2022 CBialczak Poetry
May 9: Story Challenge in 99-words
To join in go to Carrot Ranch: https://carrotranch.com/2022/05/09/may-9-story-challenge-in-99-words/
May 9, 2022, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a mom selfie — a story that creates an image of a mom. No one mom looks alike or fits a maternal mold. Who is she? Go where the prompt leads
My Mom Selfie
I lost my mom when I was 23. The hardest thing after was getting married and having kids without her. My mother-in-law was nothing like my mom. I went on to have two fantastic kids of my own. They were so smart and loved learning! We were happy. We moved from our beach community to the woods. I regret it except for the friends I made. My kids were never 100% happy.
My son passed in an accident, which has left a hole in my heart.
My daughter is beautiful, kind, and smart and perfect!
I love them both.
#Writephoto: Out to Sea
KL Caley is the host: https://new2writing.wordpress.com/2022/04/07/writephoto-distance/
For visually challenged writers, the image shows an island across a stretch of water. Upon which you can see some ruins and a white lighthouse.
Some days are harder than others and today is a difficult one. I don’t know what triggers the hard days. I suppose I need this writing to clear my head. Thanks for reading.
Someday
For someday I may see you there
Standing in the open air
Not a figment not a phase
Just my son, the one I’d raised
For now I wait and cry instead
I can’t get sad out of my head
Some days are easy some are not
I try to be thankful for what I’ve got
It doesn’t seem fair to those who live
that I don’t have as much to give
a part of me was lost that night
When you were taken out of sight.
©2022 CBialczak Poetry
The Sunday Whirl: Wordle 535
FInd the prompt here
The Feeling Never Fades
Taking a very long breath
heaving a deep and low sigh
getting a glimpse of the shape
low as it sidles on by
I’m fraught with a moment of fear
that leads to a feeling of loss
thrust in my brain like a chisel
stuck like a rock full of moss
The gap in my memory reveals
the being that might be my love
brought back to life in my heart
fitting my heart like a glove
the thoughts fill the calm with a murmur
and shift through my nerves like a sieve
wishing he’d be back beside me
wishing he’d come back to live.
©2022 CBialczak Poetry
Despite the true, deep feelings of love I am now lucky enough to feel, losing two important men in my life, within thirteen months of the other, leaves deep scars.
22 Years Ago…
Twenty-two years ago I was blessed with a baby boy. He was beautiful with a full head of dark hair weighing 9lbs 8.5oz. He left the hospital a few days later at 10 pounds!
I miss my baby more than anything…
Happy 22nd Heavenly Birthday Joey!
Coming soon…
The Joseph Bialczak Excellence in Mathematics Scholarship
To be awarded yearly at Three Rivers Middle College Magnet School in Norwich, CT
***Donations can always be made directly to me or on the GoFundMe page: https://gofund.me/409fa746
The Scholarship is being set up!!!
As I Sit
As I sit here under bright lights with a man I used to know, at the age where death is okay, where modesty is nonexistent, where memories float away as quickly as the stars at dawn, where there is no longer an understanding of where we both should be…I think about my losses, too soon to be explained, too painful to recall, unnatural in God’s original plan, leaving a hole so deep, a void so wide, a darkness that will never see light…I wonder why I was chosen to exist here, why I was picked to be the one to hold on to the wrong hand, why a piece of me is left alone…As I sit here under bright lights the pain deepens, the sorrow floods in, and the unexplained only becomes more obscure…will there ever be an answer, an explanation, a truth to hold onto, knowing that life will continue beyond the bright lights but the questions will always remain?
©2021 CBialczak
Where’s My Joey
By Wendy Monica Winter
I was on Goodreads and this story popped up. It made me smile and feel sadness at the same time. I wrote to the author, Wendy, letting her know why her book title caught my attention and affected me the way it did. She wrote back immediately and told me about why she wrote the book. I let her know that I put my name in for the book Giveaway. She sent me the PDF of her book. It is perfect for me in so many ways that I wanted to share it.
So far away
From the depths of my soul
my heart aches
and I long to hear your voice
if only one more time
so that I can find comfort
knowing you are always with me
even though you are so far away
and I will never see you again.
From deep in my core
I try to imagine how you would be
if you were still here
with me
as was first intended
before God changed his plan
and took you away.
This wound will never heal
This hole will never be filled
This void will never be solid
I am unable to heal
I am unable to feel whole
I am unable to be complete.
God help me understand
why a mother’s heart must break
with no means of repair
and no chance of regaining
what has been lost.
©2021 CBialczak Poetry
Stine Writing 
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