What do you regret not doing, being, or having in your life?

Having true regrets can be reminders of what you don’t want to do again in life but having too many regrets can be toxic and harmful. About a year and a half before my husband, Bob, died we had gone through counseling and I felt like our marriage was stronger than even when we were first together. He was my best friend and I could talk to him about anything. I remember thinking that “at least we had repaired our relationship and it was strong” so I didn’t have to regret losing him with bad or painful feelings of our past. Then when my son, Joey, died regret became a whole new monster. In only his 19 years I felt like there was so much more I could have done to be a better mother, to support him better, to have made him happier, etc. But I was taught that the past is what it is. It cannot be changed, it can only be remembered. I was also taught that actions I took in the past at that time did have a meaning or a reason that was important then. Things and people change and maybe two years later I would have done things differently but if I am to remember the past I cannot just remember the things I wish had happened, I have to remember the things that did happen and why it was important then. You can say “I should have” all you want but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is you do the right things moving forward.