After my husband passed away in 2018 I decided I was done with all of the stuff we had accumulated as a couple. I wanted to minimize my load and start fresh. I sold just about everything! Dining room furniture, dishes, pots, pans, pictures, clothing, books, stereos, Christmas decorations, I mean everything! I kept the real important stuff that meant something to me but I let go of the rest. It felt good and bad. I cried over it so many times. I mean that was the past 20 years of my life being sold or donated! But, as I had been told by more than one person, this was my new life, I had to get used to it.
After my son passed away in 2019 I got rid of even more. I kept the things that I felt were good reminders of who he was as a person, the rest was just stuff. I wasn’t able to keep his room intact for long, unlike other people who find comfort in it. To me it was just a fake sense of “maybe he will be back”. Like I have said before, “everyone does it differently”.
So, when I think of subtraction, I have a lot less than I did even two years ago. I have gained some things like a wonderful companion and friend who shows me so much love. I have also gained, or actually regained, a wonderful relationship with my daughter, who is probably one of the most beautiful, caring, smart people I know. It feels okay sometimes to live with less. Sometimes I think how it would be nice to just turn back time and maybe get rid of a lot of it without losing two people I loved but God has made his decisions and that I must live with. The clutter is something I can live without!
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