Tale Weaver – #294 – Epic Fail – 24th September

This week consider the notion of an epic fail.

It can be a very subjective view, like a dinner that went wrong, a holiday that went pear shaped, anything that started off with the best of intentions and through various means failed to meet expectations.

For Michael: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2020/09/24/tale-weaver-294-epic-fail-24th-september/

Making Copies: Epic Fail…Back to work

Jillian grabbed her coat and gloves as she was heading out the front door. She had already put her briefcase and lunch in the car, got the car warmed up, and figured she was ready to go. Her article was going to hit the streets this week and she felt certain that this would be the breakthrough of her career. That was until her phone rang…. 

Hello? 

Jillian? 

Yes? 

This is Officer Bently from the Castlebury Police Department. Do you have any idea why I am calling? 

No, none at all. Is everything okay? 

Well, I hate to be the one who has to tell you this but your workplace, Staggler and Staggler, is gone. 

What do you mean my job is gone? 

Early this morning, about 2 am, the building exploded into a ball of flames. There is nothing left of the building. Luckily, no one was there at the time. Do you have any idea who would want to destroy this successful business?  

I don’t know what to say. I mean, who would want to do this sort of thing? Oh my God, what if I had left to go to work on time today? That could’ve been me.  

Well we think a fire may have started in the copy center. 

The copy center? Why the copy center? 

There was ink on all the debris. 

Oh, wow. I haven’t used the copy center in quite a while… (Crap, I set the machine to make 1000 copies of my article. It must have been too much and got the machine over heated. Now what will I do? That was my only copy! Back to being just the secretary) 

Thank you for your help and Jillian, if you  can think of any reason for the copy center to have started this fire could you please contact my precinct immediately. 

Sure, no problem.

©2020 CBialczak Fiction

It comes in nines!

This is written for dVerse Poet’s Pub: https://dversepoets.com/2020/09/15/poetics-9-across-for-a-count-down/

  1. From prompt #2 – from W.S. Merwin’s “To the Light of September

It seems as though you are still summer 
Even with the sun laying low 
when the crisp air is blowing 
and the leaves start to turn 
but a warm breeze blows 
to remind us 
that summer 
is not 
gone. 

2. From prompt #2 – from W.S. Merwin’s “To the Light of September

Broken shadows across the cracked ground 
A hawk flies to find its next meal 
The ground holds the warmth for us 
Keeping warm means holding 
Hold one another 
And don’t let go 
Shadows  
move. 

3. For prompt #1 – Dorothy Lawrenson “September

Summer breezes cease to blow and this 
Is the end of the golden sun’s warmth 
Leaving a slight chill in the air 
Too warm for staying in 
Exchanging flip flops for sneakers 
Its laces stiff from last year’s run 
Gold hues settle along the horizon 
For all we know we are still amazed 
Brass shines brightly in the sun. 

©2020 CBialczak Poetry

Proud: Your Daily Word Prompt

Written for: http://dailyprompt.wordpress.com/2020/09/14/your-daily-word-prompt-proud-ydwordprompt-september-14-2020/

The Proud Cat

The cat in the hat 

Looked right at himself 

saw what he liked

Proud of his pic on the shelf 

He wanted the children 

To feel his way too 

He knew that he’d get it 

He’d make them brand new 

He started with babies 

And the diapers they wear 

He wanted them pretty 

On their babes’ derriere. 

He went on to toddlers 

Who toddle around 

He told them to giggle 

He just loved the sound 

He looked at the boys 

And he told everyone 

That they were so handsome 

With that he was done. 

The girls he just smiled 

For their beauty was there 

The cat told them never 

Settle for less than their share. 

The parents they loved him 

That cat in the hat 

They loved his whole message 

And encouraged him that.

©2020 CBialczak Fan Fiction

Caravan: Word of the Day

The Cat in the Hat is back with families….

The cat tries to help

The cat was in line 

With most of the kids 

The parents lined up  

With their ball cap lids. 

They lined up together 

One after one 

Thinking this caravan  

Would be lots of fun 

The animals snarled 

The kids they just yelled 

The parents still marveled  

At how the moon swelled. 

When out of the box 

A boy took a jump 

He thought that he’d ride 

On a camel’s one hump 

But the cat had been there 

Running about 

And he scared that camel 

Who then scampered about 

And his hooves they did wreck 

The sides of the cage 

Everyone got scared 

Everyone of each age 

But the cat he knew better 

And raised up his hands 

“Listen to me 

And stop the horns, the yelling. the bands! 

We must get the camel  

And the zebra there too 

To be gentle creatures 

Gentle to me and to you.  

We must work together 

To calm them both down 

Before we proceed and  

We head out of town.”  

©2020 CBialczak FanFiction Poetry

Dilatory: Word of the Day Challenge

Written for WOTD: https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2020/09/04/dilatory/

dilatory: slow to act

******I hope I don’t make you all crazy with my Cat in the Hat poetry!******

The Cat Waits

The cat was so sad 

The children were gone 

They had to go out 

To school ‘cause it’s fun. 

He wanted to play 

But was dilatory 

He should’ve been sooner 

And now he’s sorry. 

The cat he decided  

To stay at their home 

He’d wait for the bus 

He’d try not to roam. 

When the kids got to him 

He’d be ready to play 

He’d make sure the toys 

Were hidden away 

From the mom and the dad 

Mom tried cleaning the house 

When the kids were at school 

She worked with her spouse 

But once they get home 

He’ll take out the toys 

They’ll play with them all 

They’re for girls and for boys. 

And once they are done 

The cat goes away 

Back to his own home  

Where he’s gonna stay.  

©2020 CBialczak Poetry Fan Fiction

Odd: FOWC with Fandango

Written for: https://fivedotoh.com/2020/09/03/fowc-with-fandango-odd/

The Cat Sneaks In…

When the cat finally came  
 
He noticed something was wrong  
 
No one was talking  
 
No one singing a song  
 
The house was so quiet  
 
It sounded empty and bare  
 
The sound was so odd  
 
The cat tried not to stare  
 
When he got in the house  
 
The kids were sleeping in bed  
 
Both tucked in tight  
 
Upon the pillow, their head.  
 
The cat couldn’t stand  
 
The quiet all through the house  
 
He started to scream  
 
He even woke up the mouse  
 
The children woke up  
 
And were scared half to death  
 
The cat sat there waiting  
 
The cat holding his breath  
 
They started to cry  
 
And the cat he felt bad  
 
All he wanted to do  
 
Was have fun like they’d had.  
 
He looked at the kids  
 
And smiled best as he could  
 
The kids would be happy  
 
Well, he thought that they should  
 
He started to stare  
 
And wonder how they’d react  
 
They started to smile  
 
They started laughing in fact  
 
The cat was so happy  
 
He jumped up and down  
 
The kids they just chuckled  
 
He acted just like a clown.  
 
When all of a sudden  
 
The hall light went on  
 
Mom and dad they were coming  
 
The fun was all done.  
 
The cat would be back  
 
If not later, then soon  
 
And he snuck out the window  
 
Using light from the moon. 

©2020 CBialczak Poetry

As most of my followers can tell by  now, I love Dr. Seuss! This is another piece of my fan-fiction poetry.

Three Things Challenge #338

Written for Di at pensitivity101: https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2020/08/25/three-things-challenge-338/

Your three things today are:

SILLY
GAME
BACKFIRE

That Cat is Back!

And so the cat came back again  
 
To tempt the boy and girl.  
 
He wanted just a silly game  
 
not for a problem to unfurl.  
 
He told them both to grab the fish  
 
Inside his tiny bowl  
 
The fish he yelled he was just fine  
 
And then his eyes did roll  
 
He knew what was in store for him  
 
He’d been here once before  
 
The last time that the game ensued  
 
It backfired more and more.  
 
The kids they took the poor old fish  
 
And put him in the sink  
 
The cat he was a crazy thing  
 
And took the bowl to drink  
 
He wanted to just taste the fish  
 
But not let the kids find out  
 
Luckily the kids were faster  
 
They saved the fish no doubt.  
 
And so the cat he left again  
 
And took his mess and game  
 
The children often look for him  
 
Of course they know his name. 

©2020 CBialczak Poetry

Open Link Night

dVerse Poets pub is hosting Open Link Night: https://dversepoets.com/2020/08/20/on-this-day/

This is sort of a “fan fiction” parody on the Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss

Damn cat in the hat…

The cat in the hat 

Had cleaned up the house 

The kids thought him fancy 

Adults saw a louse. 

But what they don’t know 

Is that every new day 

The cat goes to homes 

To take kids away. 

He takes them to dinner 

And out for a run 

He gives them some ice cream 

They have lots of fun. 

And when they get home 

From their date with the cat 

Their parents are clueless 

‘bout where they’ve been at. 

The kids think its funny  

To trick their own folks 

The cat loves to show them 

That parents are jokes. 

The biggest dilemma  

That stands to exist 

Is that the cat is in trouble 

He’s on their hit list.  

If parents find out 

That their kids sneak around 

The cat will be gutted  

In a tree, he’ll be found.  

©2020 CBialczak Poetry

“The Lorax” is Back

Fan fiction: The Lorax by Dr. Seuss

I never really knew what fan fiction was, until I started blogging. I love the idea of fan fiction and wrote something for one of my favorite stories, The Lorax.

The Lorax is back

When they all came back 

The Lorax was set 

He knew they’d be safe 

No more reason to fret. 

The Bar-ba-loots came  

And they danced in the grass 

The Swomee swans knew 

There was no need to pass 

The beautiful world 

That they used to love 

The grasses that grow 

The sun up above. 

The Truffula trees 

Have begun to grow back 

The Once-ler he vowed 

He would not ever slack 

He’d watch what he did 

With the plants of the land 

The desolation he saw 

He never had planned. 

So, he made it is job 

To treat the world right 

To keep all the joys 

Right there in his sight. 

©2020 CBialczak Fan fiction