So I find myself at home more often than before. I thought I would be enjoying my life in the warmth of a southern state, but as life has dealt me this hand, I must stay in New England for yet another winter. It is cold. I know it is only autumn and the cold hasn’t come yet but I cannot shake the chill. I add layers, put up the thermostat, and find blankets. I think some of the chill is in my mind. When you are not doing what you had “planned” it is hard to find a new road to take.
Now I find that I am searching for that new road. I can’t go backward. I sit here shivering, not wanting to go forward either. Is that healthy? I suppose, no. But, here I find myself wondering what my next step should be.
Perhaps someday I will pour out my feelings in a memoir and that will explain it all. That is what I think, at least. But life continues whether you are ready or not. Everyone around you continues. Is it someone’s warped sense of humor to put me in this state of limbo? Well, if it is, could you please stop? It isn’t very funny!