
This is taken from “The Poet and The Peasant” by O. Henry
VERSION I:
Short-sleeve was outside in vain
at suspicion that it had
in his hand would
the rustic’s letterInnocence to shame the
knowinlgy, smiling
they saw the raw
stretch his neckto look at him
had been done
antique valise
his memorymost part ignored
even looked bored
of the way of cabs
stood his dyedwas too good
overdoing his part
up to the
stopped to open his mouthtoo thick, pal, too thick
what your on too thick
even allow
anymore***********************************************************************
VERSION II:
Standing short-sleeved in vain
Outside with the suspicion
That the hand was holding
The rustic letterInnocence turned to shame
As the knowingly smile
Made raw stretch marks on his neckTo look at him
To see what had been done
Shut away in an antique valise were his memoriesFor the most part she ignored
The look of boredom
As the cabs drove by he stoodShe was too good
And he was overdoing his part
She stopped when he went to open his mouthThe feelings were too thick
So thick that they allowed nothing
Not anymore than before
So I printed out this page, drew my picture, then found phrases within the boundaries. Version I is the pieces taken out, Version II is the same phrases made clearer, more correct phrases.

Shaun’s prompt: Erasure poem
For this week’s prompt, let’s write erasure poems.
Erasure poetry, also known as blackout poetry, is a form of found poetry wherein a poet takes an existing text and erases, blacks out, or otherwise obscures a large portion of the text, creating a wholly new work from what remains.
You might begin with an existing text or poem and shape something new by removing words, or write your own piece and then erase portions of it to reveal another layer. You could even place a poem over a work of art and present it visually as an erasure.
The keyword is “REDACTED.” Interpret it in whatever way feels meaningful to you.

The second one certainly feels more readable but I love all the little internal off-rhymes in the first one. Along with the artwork and idea, this is a great piece of work 👏
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Thank you
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Wonderful Christine I love the second one 💕
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Thank you
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Nice one Christine!!
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Both versions are interesting. Version 2, of course, better meets our expectations for meaning! Fun stuff.
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Very well done Christine.
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The second one is my choice. I enjoyed reading your work. 😊
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Thank you
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