1. Why was January chosen to be the first month of the year? Because it is too cold to be in the summer.
2. Why does the Chinese New Year not start until February? They wanted their own celebration and did not want it overshadowed by the typical New Year’s party.
3. What’s the point of eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day? Whats the point of eating black-eyed peas ever?
4. Why do we make New Year’s resolutions? So we can see how fast failure takes
5. What will Santa Claus be doing now that Christmas is over? He is sittin’, enjoying the peace, waiting for the Mrs. to get home so he can get a piece!
6. According to tradition, in the Twelve Days of Christmas, the 1st day is Christmas, itself. So what is the 12th day known as? Dozen Day
7. Why are so many of the gifts listed in the song, The 12 Days of Christmas, birds? Because no one can really collect all those animals if they were the size of elephants!
8. What earthly event marks when an angel gets its wings? When you drive past the Thunderbird Motel and see someone standing in front of the wings for a photo.
9. What happens on the Winter Solstice? In my house, mums the word…
10. How did the tradition of the Yule log originate? Well, Joseph had taken the baby Jesus’s dirty diaper cloth to bring it to the compost pile but someone thought he was offering a gift. When they saw it was poop, because what else would Joseph be offering, and it became a funny joke to pass poop around on Christmas.