- Think about your first haircut. Were you the kid that cut your own hair? Did you go to a salon or did your parents cut your hair? Did your parents save a lock of your hair? I have no recollection of getting haircuts until the one time in middle school I was at a sleep-over party and one friend cut one side of my hair and another cut the other side. I have always had the attitude that “it will grow back”.
- How about shaving? Fathers often teach their sons to shave. Most girls I know, decided for themselves when to shave their legs and their underarms. Some cultures do not shave at all. I used to fake shave my face with my dad when I was really young. I remember lathering up the soft cream then “shaving” it off with the end of my toothbrush. I remember asking my mom if I could shave my legs and she protested but eventually I did it anyway. Now I’m a bit lazy.
- Did you alter your clothes? Cut jeans into cut-offs? Cut the sleeves off t-shirts? Wear graphic tees? Tie-dyes? Sew patches on your jeans? I don’t recall altering my clothes but I did have a lot of hand-me-downs. I also remember having patches sewn onto holes in my jeans but on the inside, not the outside. I don’t think I have ever really done anything except cut jeans into shorts.
- Was there a time you remember challenging the authority in your household. Do you remember the first time you found your voice? I don’t think I challenged authority until after my mother passed away. My little brother was 10 and I was 23. I still lived at home and it was awful. I was in charge of everything and I had three part-time jobs (teaching nursery school, cleaning houses, and waitressing). One day my father got pissed because I hadn’t made his bed or changed the sheets or something like that. I moved out. I moved in with Bob who became my first husband. I was so sick of it at my house and my older sister was never around. I had to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands…I remember having a day that I had to go to “The Cleaners” to pick up my dad’s suits.
- What about piercings? Girls getting their ears pierced was a rite of passage for girls. Then boys started getting one ear pierced. As time passed, piercings became more mainstream and accepted. I first got my ears pierced when I was maybe 12. I got a second piercing in one ear when I was in my teens, I was drunk and my sister’s friend, also drunk, did it with a needle. It took quite a few years but I evened both sides out and the got an extra piercing. Now I have four in each ear but only use the first, third and fourth because the second on my right side is so close to the edge I get nervous it will rip out. When I was in my early thirties I got my belly button pierced. My daughter has tons of piercings. I had always said I could handle anything but the eyebrow and the tongue. Well, she became her own piercer and did her nose and ears and her friends’ noses and ears. I found out a while later that she did have her tongue pierced which makes me want to throw up.
- Did you walk on the wild side? Smoking? Drinking? Did your parents know? In high school we all smoked and we all drank. My mom kind-of knew and didn’t allow it but didn’t check for it everytime I got home. There were nights that I would get home and say goodnight and she would tell me NOT to say goodnight to my dad because I smelled either like cigarettes or booze. One night, in the middle of winter, my boyfriend picked me up and we went to a bonfire out in the woods. I remember having a bottle of Vodka (1.75L). Well, I ended up drinking it all by myself and luckily didn’t die. My boyfriend proceeded to drop me off in my driveway in the snow. I remember crawling to the back door. I guess I fumbled with the key for so long it woke my mother and she came and whipped the door open. She was mad! She was more mad that the boyfriend let me drink as much as I had. At the time she said I was beyond making any such decisions for myself. She told me she didn’t want to see my boyfriend for a long time. Well that lasted about a few hours because the boyfriend did come over that afternoon.
- What about tattoos? Did you get a tattoo while still living at home? Did your parents approve? I got my first tattoo when my late husband turned 40. I brought him to a tattoo place as a surprise birthday gift. He had a small tattoo on his arm and had talked about getting another some day. I didn’t realize how badly it hurt and how it was sort of an awful gift. Anyhow, I wanted a clownfish because it reminded me of my mother. I got Nemo instead because he was such a big deal back then. I didn’t show my father. My neighbor thought it was fake and tried to pick it off with a fingernail! Holy shit! That was painful. I didn’t think about it for many years. Finally I started again and it was addictive. I have quite a few now. My father never liked them. I tried to find meaning in all of mine. I am due for a new one and have contacted my last artist. Maybe next week?!?!
- What about language? Was swearing allowed in your family? Did you use the same language around your friends as you did at home with your family? No one really swore in my house. I know my sister did a few times and my mother would say she was going to wash her mouth out with soap.
- Think back to high school. Girls, did you iron your hair? Did you color your hair? (using Sun-in counts!) Guys, did you grow a beard or moustache? Did you grow your hair long? Feel free to share a photo of yourself back in the day. I curled my hair. Sort of like the Farrah Faucet look. I dyed it a few times by spraying peroxide all over it. I eventually went back to my original color which was a mousy dark blonde. I color it now with Ion Hair Color and a deep moisturizer.
- Many people think our authentic self is the person we were as young children. Are you still inherently the same person you were as a child or have you changed your personality and demeanor along the way? I think I am about the same person.
Deb sends such a positive message here
This post was written for the following prompts:
Would I be standing at the shoreline
Taking stock of my life?
Recalling all I had invested
And the resulting strife.
Would I profit from my time
Spent contemplating with this trouble and strife?
Or would I just admire the taxing birds,
And cut the tapestries thread with my sharpened knife.
Perhaps it would be me struggling at sea
The dividends tugged me beneath the waves
All my capital gone, no more salary for me
My hope of annuities would not save
Perhaps I would struggle, it’s a stretch but I might try
For isn’t life for the brave
No, that tapestry I wouldn’t like
I want to…
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Fandango has a beautiful message to send
There’s one in every crowd, isn’t there? One who won’t go along to get along. One who always has to be different, who never just does what they’re told, who refuses to follow the crowd, who must put their individuality on display.
You are like that. You’re unlike the others. You’re one of a kind, in a class by yourself, swimming against the tide. You go your own way. You do your own thing.
That’s what I admire most about you. That’s what I love most about you.
Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes prompt. Photo credit: boredpanda.com.