I finally decided to give up the smokes.

Doc’s been telling me,Buddy, do it for the family.

“What family,” I said. “The missus ran off with that gorilla, Brian. My girlfriend wants to move to Cleveland. I told her, she’s on her own.

“The kids are monkeys. I can’t get any sense out of them. “

Do it for yourself, he said.

“Well, mate. I’ll try.

“I’ve never felt so tired. My back hurts, the hair’s thinned out (used to be so luxurious) and I’ve greyed up so much. I used to be a rad orange! I’m just all washed out.

“Look at the wrinkles, man!”

I can put you onto a support group, give you a script for patches, the doc said.

“Well, heck,” I told him. “I can only try. Don’t know if my heart’s in it. Don’t know what I’ll replace my friend