After my son passed away I was devastated. I had just (13 months prior) lost my husband now my son! The mourning process has been so much different than it was for Bob. It seems to be much more painful and I sometimes don’t know how I will ever feel better. July will be one year since he passed.
One of the things I learned as I watched a great webinar on grieving https://youtu.be/d5lYBsuqkxI was that instead of being so sad about his death, to think about the legacy I want to leave for him. It seems like this would be obvious or what you would do anyhow but when you think about it, what do you want people to remember about the loved one that died.
For Joey, he was so smart. He got a perfect score of 800 on Math SATs. Still in high school he took a college level Differentials math class and the professor said she learned things from him! No one could ever believe how smart he was. He was funny too. He had his issues and went through some extremely tough times as an adolescent but he had just graduated high school and I saw a whole new world opening up for him.
After Bob, my husband/his dad, died, Joey insisted on buying a motorcycle. He and Bob had talked about it often as Bob used to ride. I was scared to death and at the time didn’t know what I would do financially, so I told him if he was going to buy it he would have to save and do all the work on his own. Well, he saved $8000 in cash, got his motorcycle license, took the appropriate class and bought the motorcycle. He loved that bike.
He died on that bike.
My heart will never be the same.
The legacy I want to leave is how brilliant he was and how the world is now going to miss out of someone that would’ve changed our world. Someday, once all this corona stuff is over I want to try and start a scholarship at his magnet high school, under his name. That will be very fulfilling.