From my desk: 11/12/2019

Two days ago, I had to struggle through my son’s twentieth birthday in Heaven. No matter how it is phrased, no matter what my faith tells me, it makes no sense to me. Today I sat and thought about people who die when they have an illness. Why do they have to be sick? We don’t know. They say God knows. When we see people, we love, suffer any sort of sickness it hurts. When someone who is sick dies, people often say that the person is in a better place. What place is better than with people who love them?

Where do I go with this? When someone dies in an accident can one say they are in a better place? What do you say to yourself or someone else to make them find peace? Is there any peace in death? If my faith is true, then both my husband and my son are in a better place. Wherever they are they are free of emotional and physical pain, they are living in perfection, they are engulfed with peace.

Through my blogging, I have met some people who have been what I have been through. Losing a spouse is a horrible, lonely thing. All the plans are thrown to the wind. All the growing old is no longer happening. Being married long enough for people to say, “Wow! That is a long time!”, doesn’t exist. Losing a child is so different. It is a loss that feels endless, that feels like it engulfs your whole being and tries to swallow it in one bite. It is a physical pain in your heart that you feel like you could grab and take out of your body and physically hold. I wish I could do that. I would throw it as far as I could and run in the other direction.

My situation is a bit different than others; in thirteen months my life was tossed twice! If you or someone you know is hurting, send them my way, I feel better each time I talk to someone about how I feel. If there is nothing else that can help, support can at least lessen some of the immediate pain.

Peace to you all and my hopes for your health and happiness.

V.J.’s Weekly Challenge #72

Wish

My Wish 

Once I wished I could climb to the top of the highest mountain.  

When I got there, I wished I could soar through the clouds like an eagle. 

While soaring, I wished I could dive into the ocean and catch a large fish for dinner. 

After catching the fish and letting him go, I wished I could swim to a beautiful coral reef to see the clownfish. 

Once I saw the clownfish, I wished I could have that beautiful fish at my home.  

That wish can’t come true. 

I have to leave that clownfish in his own home. 

He needs his home to survive.  

My house cannot meet his needs. 

I wish that I lived on the side of an ocean where I could have an underwater bedroom with a glass window to see the fish swim by. 

I wish all of the clownfish could know that they should swim by my window, where they would be safe. 

Writing Prompt #45

My Favorite Pie

Back when my kids were little and I worked nights, I spent at least one day a week making pies. I made pies for a small coffee shop. They would buy my pies, which people raved about.

When I first started making the pies I realized I needed my own crust. I didn’t realize that crusts are unique and that people who love pie know the difference between a Pilsbury pie crust and homemade. So I went about making my crusts. I tried just about every kind out there. Some with water and oil, some with shortening, some just butter, some with vanilla extract…you name it and I tried it. Why did I try so many? To be honest, because I wanted to find one that tasted really good but was really easy to make.

Anyhow, I made pies every week for quite a few months. One day one of my pies didn’t set up. I can’t remember if it was chocolate cream pie or something like that. The owner of the shop was furious! Well, I can’t tell if it doesn’t set until it is cut into! It looked good. At the time I was selling pies for about $5 each, which was a big rip off! Anyhow, the owner complained to his wife who then told me that he was mad. I think I made pies once more for them and then stopped. It wasn’t worth all my time and effort.

My favorite of all to eat and to make is a blueberry pie with a buttery topping that melts in your mouth!